Feeds:
Posts
Comments

It is Thanksgiving morning and as I woke up, I took a moment to ponder what it is I am thankful for this year.  One of the things very close to the top of my list, if not the top, is the  squamous cell cancer episode I had this summer.  It was discovered early and eliminated without Chemo and/or Radiation and only minimal disfiguring to my lover lip and chin. Everyday when I look into the mirror and I say thank you God.  But included with that is the dear girlfriend  who went with me and held my hand through every surgery. Also to all of the friends who knew how really terrified I was and offered support through the three plus months ordeal.  I am blessed.

I am also thankful for my little dog Bella. She just turned twelve years old and from here on each day with her is a gift and a blessing.  It is really a myth that little dogs live longer. I had one Yorkie live to be 16 years old, and that is not the normal. My last one lived to be just short of twelve years.  She gives so much love and asks so little in return.  Again, I am blessed.

Now last but not least…….how many of you believe that things really do happen for a reason? I may not have liked it at the time or even understood it, but I really do believe that there is a reason for everything. “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” 

Quite sometime ago as a young gal of 19 or 20, my path crossed with a young musician. But it was not meant to be as he was headed on a new adventure with his band and I was getting ready to move to Atlanta. Our goals and dreams I figured were too different and even though I didn’t want to hear it…….it was not meant to be.  Forty-eight years later we reconnected on Facebook.  Through daily communications and perseverance, we were able to spend sometime together eleven months later. You see this wasn’t easy as we live about 1,800 miles apart.

With all this time that has passed, he is still everything I thought he was and more. Yes L.M. I am so thankful that our paths have crossed again and thankful we both kept our minds and hearts open to this new adventure. I do not know of any two people that are more meant to have a second chance.   I am excited to see where 2018 takes us.

So, what are you thankful for this year? Don’t let the day go by without finding something or someone to be thankful for.  If it is someone, I suggest you tell them today. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Let them know that you are thankful they are in your life.

That’s all for now.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Until next time………..

gloriann

Advertisements

July 26, 2017 I lost a dear, dear long-time friend, to Alzheimers Disease. If someone asked me to describe my friend Bob Louis in one word, I couldn’t do it. Bob was a class act, a gentleman and a gentle man. His heart was as big as Texas, a warm sense of humor and a wonderful family man. His children Bobby, Marc and Joe were the center of his universe. He raised them with the good values he himself possessed and most of all to be each their own man, and not to walk in his or anyone else’s shadow.  They were each bigger than life on their own and he was so proud of them.  I met them young in their lives and was fortunate to catch up with two of them because of this sad loss we are sharing. They have grown into fine men.

The first born of  the sons is Bobby.  He literally walked out of his own life in Florida, as a musician and singer with his own band, to move home and care for his dad.  I know what this kind of sacrifice is because I too was the adult child who gave up their life to care for  my mom and dad.  It is a commitment and it is a sacrifice, no matter how you look at it.  Having been associated with our local hospice for 14 years, I tried without butting in too much, to offer suggestions to help him either with the caring of his dad or his feelings and/or emotions that he was dealing with.  I have worked with many many families dealing with a terminally ill loved one.  The things that Bobby was saying to me, I have heard many times before. I hope he knows that had I not cared deeply for his dad and his sons, I wouldn’t have ever said a word or offered support unsolicited, but I did care and even if it was from another state via internet I wanted him to know I was there to help or listen.

****************************************************************************

I started writing this a week after my friend Bob passed away.  Normally I write my blog posts in one sitting, but this one was extra special and in it’s own way closure for me, so I wanted to take my time.  Now I am grateful I did write this story and not publish it too soon………….

It is now August 15th.  Sunday August 13th Bobby and 6 others were on a wooden boat in Lake Superior. The purpose of this excursion was to honor his dad’s final wishes and scatter his ashes in a lake that their family had spent many vacations filled with fun and memories. The boat capsized, leaving all of them in the very frigid Lake Superior water.  It was Bobby who helped to keep the other six treading water, including a seven year old child, until a good Samaritan  happened along to rescue them. Before this, Bobby tried to stop the wooden boat that was reportedly still on full throttle even though upside down.  It is not known as of this writing if Bobby was hit by the propeller on the motor or what exactly happened, but he went down under water, never to resurface.    Bobby’s body wasn’t recovered until Monday, August 14th, late afternoon.  Another wonderful human being was lost to us that day.

Bobby had a kind, loving heart like his dad’s.    I don’t think either one of them was capable of hatred or hurt towards any human being or animal.  Bobby started a Facebook page called Angels for Angels, encouraging anyone who was in need of prayer to let it be known on that page and all who were there would include them in their prayers.  Bobby studied theology and believed strongly in the power of prayer.

Someone once told me that I can’t write a story unless I have an ending.  I never dreamed this story would have this ending.  Bobby…….thank you for your friendship the last couple of years.  I remember that day you told me your dad had Alzheimers. I suspected it because of the last couple of phone calls I had from him – one of which I will hold in my heart forever.  Thank you for keeping me always up to date on what was happening with my dear friend Bob.  I was looking so forward to seeing you when you came to have the memorial service here in Rockford for Bob, later this Fall.

Although we who loved you both did not want to give you up so soon – it was heaven’s gain and our loss. The two brightest stars in the sky belong to the two of you now and that will always give me a smile and a warm, fuzzy feeling.  Until we meet again someday…………

 

gloriann

 

 

My great aunt, the one we all called Auntie used to say “It is a great life if you don’t weaken”.  Think about it. You have to stay strong to survive or you will be gobbled up by life.  This episode with cancer has really tested me on all – life, pain, fear, and endurance.

It was the day I had many mixed emotions about – the skin graft surgery. I was not afraid of the surgery itself, or the results. I was terrified of the shots that I would be given to numb both areas, the doner site and the area to be repaired. No – there is not an anesthesiologist knocking you out. According to the insurance companies that is now a luxury item and you want it you pay 100% for it. So I was laying there and as with the other surgeries the week before I knew there would be at least six shots of anesthetic to my face and probably as many to the doner site.  There were 14 to be exact. Eight to the face and 6 behind my ear where they got the tissue to graft.  Several of those shots that went into where the cancer was extracted and they were excruciating to put it mildly.  My friend Candy was there and she had me breathing through each one and by the time we were finished I felt like I had given birth! I couldn’t have done it with out her.

Now that I was numb the surgery began. Again I cannot say enough about this surgeon and his staff.  Each were wonderful in their own unique way.  I am home  and waiting 2 weeks for the stitches to come out. During this time I may write a few letters to people in power.

This idea of someone sitting behind their desk playing God with mine or anyone elses life doesn’t set well with me. How dare you!  How dare you make me go through that barbaric torture of all of those shots  because you don’t want to pay for general anesthesia.  How dare you sit there and pick and choose what you are going to pay of my claim when I have faithfully made my payments every month for a policy I can’t afford to begin with. Well I could go on this rant for pages and maybe it will be another topic for posts at a later time.

As for now, I am grateful to God that at this moment, to the best of my knowledge,  I am cancer free and my face was able to be repaired. Also, thank you to friends and family for the support shown to me during this very scary time.  So until next time……..I wish you peace and good health.

gloriann

It started July 11th, 2017.  I was having a biopsy for what I originally thought was a bug bite on my chin. I took my friend Candy with me for moral support. I was told it would take 7-10 days for the results to come back. They came back  Friday, July 21st.  The nurse told me I have squamous cell carcinoma!  I always wonder what I would feel like at the time someone tells me I have cancer.  Had the nurse continued and said but the good news is you just won a million dollars…….the only thing I would have heard was cancer. Nothing else.  I was told someone would be calling me on Monday to schedule me for a surgical consult.  The call came and I was told August 15th. The hell you say!!! I calmly asked, if the consult wasn’t until then, when would I have the surgery. I was told they were scheduling around the end of November!  I remained civil as I know this person on the phone was only doing what she was told, but I asked to have some one from the surgical staff call me. What they didn’t know was another growth had come up – close to my lower lip, since the biopsy, AND the original sight was just about double the size since the biopsy.   About 2 hours later someone from the surgical staff called and told me to come in at 1:30 the next day – Tuesday – for the consult and I will be having surgery at 7:10 a.m. Wednesday morning.

At the consult with the doctor it was explained to me that this was going to be done using the MOHS procedure which basically  allows them to take as little skin as possible, but yet had a far better success rate that radiation.

Let the surgery begin!!  Round one not only was removal of cancerous tissue on lesion one, but also biopsy on lesion 2.  I was sent home for a couple of hours while my tissue was examined at the lab. I received a phone call that tissue was not clear and yes lesion 2 was cancerous.  Back for more shots to numb and more tissue to be taken off of both lesions.  Sent home for a couple of hours to wait for the call and it came.  Lesion 1 was clear but more had to taken on lesion 2.  Back to the clinic for more shots and more surgery.  Each time the lesions were dressed as if I wasn’t coming back and hopefully this would be the last time.  I went home and waited for the phone. It rang and now both lesions were all clear.  I was given a time to come in on Thursday so they could stitch up the small lesion.

My concern with the small lesion was that it was so close to my lip line. Was he going to have to take part of my lip to close this.  Honestly as concerned as I was about this, I really would ave gladly made the sacrifice to be cancer free. As it turned out, I am still 100% kissable and these are the tiniest of stitches I have ever seen which means minimal to no scarring. Again, at my age, my looks are not the most important concern anymore. It is called living!!! That is my goal.

Lesion 1 was about as big around as a quarter and about 3/8″ deep.  We are letting the tissue kind of naturally fill in and then in one week he will do a skin graft. The doctor told me he can take the skin from just about anywhere – that he usually takes it from the neck.  I am doing the math…….that is six more shots to the face and about that many to the neck.  I am going to ask if he can take it from my arm, as I am used to having shots there and it is not as tender.  I will let you know.  I wished I could have a couple of martinis before I go! Candy is going with me again – thank you, thank you!

So that is where I am at  as of 7/30/17……..in a holding pattern and waiting for what I hope to be the final surgery.

When I speak to groups regarding care giving for the terminally ill one point of the many that I try to drive home is that don’t let the patient go into the examining room alone.  A second pair of ears is always, always good.  Just as in my case, if the patient hears one bad thing and twelve good things, what do you think they will remember? They will remember the bad thing and not have heard another word. I went through this with my mom.  My mom spent more time riding on the “what if” bus because she didn’t hear the positive things that were said versus one not so good thing. You know that bus……what if this happens, or what if that happens or what if, what if, what if! We have all been on it at one time or another.  It is human nature and ground in our DNA to do that.  I am trying desperately to not get on that bus,but instead get on and enjoy the bus ride and not worry about where the bus might be headed. It is easier said than done – and when you are by yourself it is 100 times harder.

I have every confidence in my surgeon and the place I am going for the care of this.  We are so fortunate in Rockford, Illinois to have someone who does this MOHS procedure. Thank you God!

My Bella has her nurses hat on and she is taking good care of me, and I am blessed with many wonderful friends who are loving and supportive. I hold them all close in my heart.  I will continue to blog this journey so there will be another post coming next weekend. Until then I wish you good health and the strength to endure…………

gloriann


Is it worth it????

In 2016 we had a National election to elect a new President. I am not going to dwell on the fact that our choices were less than the best. There are people who walked into the voting booth and closed their eyes and whomever they pointed to, got the vote.  People changed party affiliations as well as there have been on going protests, flag burning, name calling,  and in general ……plain ol’ unhappiness.  I was always taught that to burn our flag in protest was treason.  People used to face a firing squad for treason. How times have changed!

All of this aside……what is really disturbing to me is that people are losing friends over their beliefs.  Facebook used to be a fun place.  I love my family and friends on face book.  Reconnecting with so many people and also making new connections is something I  am really enjoying and look forward to.  I certainly respect your right to your beliefs regarding politics and religion…….as I hope you respect mine.  Most of all, I certainly do not or will not engage in ANY heated discussion on Facebook with you about it. It is a no win situation.

You have a right to what you think and believe and so do I.  It boils down to this……..the election is OVER. No matter what side you are on, we have a new leader.  GIVE THE MAN A CHANCE!!!! If it were Hillary Clinton I would say the same thing – give her a chance.  We have given every President elected, good or bad, a chance to prove themselves.  Mistakes will be made. They have all made mistakes.

Is it worth it to lose a life-long friend because you can’t come to agreement on something that neither of you can change?  Remember, words hurt and can’t be taken back.  Once said and there is no turning back…….feelings are hurt and in some cases there might be a friendship gone bad.  John Lennon said it so well back in the ’60s…….”all we are saying, is give peace a chance.”  Let’s make Facebook fun again. I respect your right to tell me to write my Congressman about something….and I probably will do it if I agree, but let’s get over it and get on with life and keep the arguments off of Facebook.  This is not directed to any one person, because there are many doing it. It is strictly my thoughts on the subject.

And with that I will leave you with a big ((((((hug)))))) until next time………

gloriann

 

It was December 0f 1966 and my mom and I were starting to decorate for Christmas. This year it was not going to be Christmas as usual for us. One of us was not going to be there this year and none of us could really speak of it. Looking back, it was the worst Christmas ever.dove-054

I was a senior in high school.  My brother, who had already graduated five years ahead of me, wouldn’t be home this year. You see, he was in the Marine Corp. and was stationed in some little country across the big ocean,  called Viet Nam.  There was a war going on there. They tried to call it a police action, but for those fighting there and those of us with family there, it was a war.  Now my brother wasn’t in the infantry so he wasn’t on the front lines.   No one was safe over there, it didn’t matter what you did.  My cousin’s husband was killed getting on an airplane to come home.  If the enemy could get at us, the did.

And so Christmas was coming upon us quickly.  Mom and I were out shopping and we came across this beautiful white dove with it’s wings spread as if in flight. Mom said she was going to buy it for the top of the tree.  I found this strange at first because we had always had an angel at the top, so why now a dove?

When we got home, she took the angel down and placed the dove on top, just as you see it on my tree.  I asked her at that moment why she was doing this?  She said to me that this was the white dove , the symbol of peace.  She hoped with placing this dove on the top of the tree that not only would peace come soon to Viet Nam, but also that my brother, Larry would be safe and come home unhurt.

Every time I walked by the tree, somehow the dove gave me hope and helped to get us through that very scary, sad Christmas. You know what? It still does.  Since that Christmas, the dove has been  at the top of my family’s tree every year.  It is missing its feet and beak, but she is still there in flight.  I honestly do not know if Larry even knows this story.  As long as I continue to put up a tree, the dove will be there.

Question for you……can you ever imagine a Christmas where there will be no fighting going on anywhere on earth? Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me…….

I hope you enjoyed the tale of the white dove and have a very Merry Christmas!

Until next time………..

 

PS.  And yes……my brother came home and was not hurt.  Thank you God.

Did You Hear It?

Were you listening?  Did you hear it? I can’t describe it to you……it was just there.  I know that when I discovered it, I surely enjoyed it.  What am I talking about?

For the last nine days this country had something else to think about, cheer about, and celebrate other than Hillary or The Donald.  There was camaraderie like there hasn’t been in years with the people of this country.  Two baseball teams,  wanting to  not repeat history, were in a battle for a “winner take all ” prize.  We had something else to focus on and it sure felt good!

Game seven, the final game it felt like the earth stood still.  People were riveted to their televisions.  We laughed, we cheered, some cried.  No matter which team you were for, you woke up this morning with a smile on your face and a pride in your heart. For this short period of time these two teams let us escape from our problems and seemed to make life a little more fun. It has been a very long time since this country has had something like this to bond us.  This wasn’t just any World Series, this was two teams that had been the underdogs for years. People could relate to this.  Some people gave up on these two teams.  But now, win or lose…….these teams were going to sprout wings and fly.

Thank you Cubs and Indians for giving us a much needed break in our lives.  Thank you for the joy you brought to all ages and the fun you gave us. My Dad is smiling up in Heaven knowing the Cubs finally won the World Series and I am smiling for him.

For a few short hours last night………well……. it seemed like there was peace on earth.  Did you hear it? I sure hope so.

Until next time……..